Gender, according to WHO, is a socially constructed characteristic of women and men. Sex is the biological characteristic of men and women.
Society has dictated the roles and characteristics of men and women for hundreds of years.
For a female, she is known to be weak, emotional, and dependent.
She has been told that the only value she can offer is to give birth and be a good wife.
For a male, he is known to be strong, not vulnerable, not sensitive, and not emotional.
He has been told that his value is seen by how much money he has to offer.
And most of the time, these gender responsibilities are usually overwhelming. Why?
Because we cannot always achieve what society sees as an achievement.
But, when we don’t get that achievement, why does the so-called society neglect us?
When men don’t get what they want in life, they are told to man up and not talk about it.
But building up feelings without talking to anyone can cause a serious outburst of emotions.
And this outburst will be seen as aggression and anger. And anger management is a mental health condition.
When women don’t get what they want in life either, they are also told to keep quiet and not talk.
But women have internalised emotions, and they start showing signs of anxiety, withdrawal, and even depression. All these are also mental health conditions.
Society has not fully changed even in the 21st century. We are still judged based on what we have to offer.
My advice to the younger generation(Gen Z):
- When you choose to have a partner, your roles should be discussed well.
- There is nothing bad about having a double-income household.
Men should learn to appreciate the fact that some women are willing to take some of the load off their shoulders.
- Keeping your emotions in for too long can cause mental issues for you or your partner.
Open up to your partner when you are feeling down. You are a human, not a robot.
- When you feel frustrated, take a walk or do something to calm yourself down.
Do not carry out your frustration on your partner or your kids.
- For men, no one is asking you to be weak. What most women want is emotional availability.
As Chimamandanda Adichie said,
” The problem with gender is that it prescribes how we should be, rather than recognising how we are”.
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